"I'm Sorry You Are A Weasel" Baby's First Apology

How to Apologize

It seems like an easy thing, to apologize. But yet apologies have been winnowed down from the unmitigated to weasel words.

Here is a handy primer on how to apologize.

Executive summary (presumably because executives are simpletons who can't do any deep reading):

Rule #1: Don't be a weasel.

Apologize quickly

Make your amends in life as quickly as possible. Otherwise, the issue will fester with the aggrieved party, or even with yourself. I once apologized to someone after 20 years. It had been weighing heavily on my mind, but she didn’t even remember the initial problem. What a total waste of my time!

Apologize unreservedly

Everyone has heard that phrase ‘IF I offended you, I apologize’. Have you ever said it?

You have? Well then, fuck you. You already know you have offended someone, they’ve told you so, so there are no ‘if’s’ about it. Yeah, I know it’s in the Bible (Samuel 25:28) but in this case the word of God is wrong. Probably a typo or something. 

Only apologize if you mean it

Don’t apologize because it makes good business sense. Apologize like you mean it, because you do mean it. Otherwise, stand your ground. Don’t be a weasel.

Apologies should be tangible

Learn from your mistakes. Don’t repeat the same mistake again – there are so many in the world to make, find something new to fuck up over.

Take responsibility

Something might not be your doing, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t your fault. Step up and seize the opportunity to apologize for something that you could have helped to prevent.

You don’t have to apologize for everything

Causing offense is inevitable, there is someone, somewhere on this planet who will take offense to you saying ‘hello’. I expect I may have offended some people with this post. Be forewarned: I’m unapologetic. Always assess the situation like an adult, and decide if you were wrong, and do the right thing.

Apologies are inevitable

Everybody makes mistakes – both big and small. Make the most of them by apologizing while knowing you are merely human.

Remember: Don’t be a weasel

You’ve already fucked up, don’t compound it.

You Are Still A Pervert

Recently, there was an arrest made for a purveyor of child pornography. He had 15 terrabytes of content, video and photographic representations of child rape.

Newberg man, Richard Tietjens, accused of storing 15 terabytes of child porn

This man was, at one point in the past, a participant in anti-spam activities. Like every other type of work that exists, antis run a broad spectrum of individuals, from the very finest human beings you could hope to meet, to the most loathsome. 

Richard Tietjens in no way represents the typical anti-spammer, any more so than I do.

What is off-putting (to put it mildly) is that there are some in our community who are attempting to provide ‘what-ifs’ as if they somehow would mitigate this vile pervert’s activities. They bring examples like ‘what if all of his content was cartoons and anime-style depictions of child rape, ergo no-one got hurt in the creation of the content’.

That is true, but the depiction of child rape has several illegal aspects of it:

1. The act of child rape
2. The filming of the crime so others may remotely participate, by proxy, in the act of child rape
3. The distribution of the obscene photographic material
4. The possession of the obscene photographic material

While cartoon depictions may not actually hurt a child, they do provide an environment in which paedophiles can exist and ply their trade, and there’s the rub, so to speak.

There have been precisely zero documented instances of paedophiles who limit their interests solely to cartoon depictions. Anime is one form of the many that paedophiles enjoy, at the cost of destruction of a young life.

From a purely scientific point of view a paedophiles who only like drawings could exist, because we simply can’t statistically disprove that, but scientifically as well this ignores a reality:

The vast body of evidence that exists shows that paedophiles rape children (and let’s be clear, infants), and participate in the illegal and immoral collection, distribution, and use for sexual gratification of depictions of those rapes.

If libertarian values (or some compulsion to parse infinitesimally small possible scenarios from massive evidence to the contrary, akin to pointing out an atom on Jupiter) insist that you must allow for cartoon and anime forms of this sickness as being non-harmful, I suggest you get psychiatric help, immediately. Your stance is loathsome, and sociopathically disinterested in the feelings of the victims of such horrible crimes. You are little better than the paedophiles you are attempting to support.