Saturday, May 10, 2008

Dear Illiterate, Incoherent News Readers

Look, your job is a simple one. Pour yourself into a suit or a pantsuit, face the camera, smile (or look somber, whatever your notes tell you to do) and read the Tele-prompter. Not too difficult. The camera does the rest, transmitting you into our homes both visually, and audibly. And it is this last with which I have a problem.

You know that story you've been reading about Burma (aka Myanmar)? Yeah, the cyclone thing. Terrible deaths, injuries, homes lost?

K, the thing is - what kind of government do they have again? A military junta?

Now, that word - how do you pronounce it? Hun-ta, or better yet, hoon-ta. NOT FRIKKEN JUN-ta! The word is Spanish, dear idiot, and the least you could do is try.

I swear the next news-reader who says JUN-tah, I'm going to go down there, and make them a nice bow-tie out of their tongue.

Just because Bill on Channel 4 Action News or some down-trodden correspondent holed up in Bangkok at the moment on the network feed mispronounces it doesn't make it right.

So please, if you are someone who has big tits or a big chin and has to read stuff, and that's your only job in life, try to do it well. I mean the reading part. Your chin and tits will take care of themselves.

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